A CHILDHOOD MEMORY

I have been told over the years that as you get older your memory fades and then eventually you get to the stage where either you remember nothing at all - or else you remember only those things from way back when.   Things that happened in the recent past you cannot remember.  I am both happy and thankful to be able to say that as of now, my memory seems to be working fine both for things from way back and things from the recent past.

One of my most vivid memories in my lifetime goes back to when I was aged eight or nine.  An impressionable age.  At that time, my mother had a weekly 30-minute radio show on Radio Eireann in Dublin called "Saints We Have Loved".  It was broadcast live in those days every Saturday evening at 8.00pm - such a difference to now when everything is usually pre-recorded, edited, chopped and changed before being broadcast.  Each week the show would highlight the life of a saint - some well known, some not so well known, but it must have been a popular show for it ran for over two years.  I have no idea if they ran out of saints or if the show just stopped!  Many of the well known actors and actresses of the day who passed through Dublin - people like Orson Welles, Dame Sybil Thorndyke  and Sir John Gielgud - would take part in the programme.

At that stage of my life I had to be in bed by 8.00pm (unlike now when children of any age can stay up until any time) so I seldom heard the show.  However, on one occasion when my grandmother was away in England and had taken our maid with her, there was no one to stay at home with me, so mother had no alternative but to take me to the studio with her.  I have no idea what saint was portrayed that night but whoever she was, was seemingly unfortunate enough to be in Rome at some point during the reign of an unsympathetic Emperor Pilate (played by Sir John Gielgud) and had the further misfortune of coming to a very unpleasant ending by being thrown to the lions.  A thing the Romans of those days did quite often with Christians and other unwanted people.

In those days recording studios - and certainly those of Radio Eireann - had nothing like the technology they have today, so most sound effects were made manually.  For example, I remember the sound of galloping horses was made by hitting two coconut halves together on top of a table.  If someone was talking to someone else and leaving, they just talked while they walked to the other side of the studio away from the one standing microphone so their voice faded naturally.  Nowadays that all sounds so primitive, but it worked well back then and for those listening on the radio at home, it sounded very real.

On the Saturday I was taken to Dublin to the studio I was so excited.  I remember in the afternoon the wife of one of the technicians took me to the Dublin Zoo while my mother, Sir John Gielgud and the rest of the cast rehearsed in the studio.  I am sure it was very kind of the good lady to take me to the Zoo.  I enjoyed seeing all the animals and birds and at that time the Dublin Zoo was one of very few Zoos that had huge open areas done up in their natural habitat for animals and birds rather than having them in cages.  So it made for a very interesting and educational time for both the children and adults who went there.  However, that particular day we were just looking at the area where the lions lived (incidentally, one of those lions is the one that appears on the Metro Goldwyn Mayer logo) when it was feeding time, and the way the lions attacked the bones and meat that was thrown to them both interested and scared me.  They were fierce animals at that moment of time and ones I would not want to meet face to face.

Back at the studio later that day I was equally fascinated and excited by watching the technicians do their job, watching them doing the sound effects. I felt very important just because I was there.  My mother gave me strict instructions that I was to sit on a certain chair in the corner furthest from the microphone, not to move and not to make a sound - otherwise I would have to wait outside until the show was over.  It was probably not such a good idea to have a little boy of that age sitting right in the recording studio, but as I was not about to miss the broadcast, I gave my solemn promise I would do exactly as I was told and sit quietly just watching.

The red light over the studio door went on, the show's signature music started playing. My mother was playing the part of the saint that night and I remember the first scene was my mother and Sir John Gielgud (who was playing Pilate) arguing over something about their differences of opinion regarding Christianity in Rome. All the cast which was about twelve in number I think - the others included the Irish actors Eileen Crowe,  Rita O'Dea and Patrick Bedford - were assembled around one big single microphone in the centre of the studio and whenever Pilate said something they didn't like everyone - including the main characters - would at the same time stand back from the microphone and go "blah, blah, blah, blah" which when they all did it, gave the sound of discontented murmurings.

Finally Pilate decided he had heard enough and sentenced all the Christians to death - including of course, my mother - the main one.  I was not quite prepared for that and as I was totally involved in watching and listening to everything, being so young it suddenly seemed so real.  I remember well, I began to quietly cry.  I remember heavy music being brought up to signify a change of scene, and then being faded out.  Now the scene was in the Colosseum.  The cast cheered as Pilate apparently appeared and gave a long speech, had conversations with his fellow Romans and several other cast members also made speeches.  I didn't understand much of it but I listened intently.  Then finally at the end of the show, Pilate made another short speech and ended by giving the signal for the Christians to be martyred.  I can still hear Sir John Gielgud's voice shouting "Throw them to the lions".  My mother was standing beside him right beside the microphone and being the main character was, of course the first to be "thrown to the lions".  A recording of lions roaring loudly came on which immediately brought back to my mind the frenzied feeding time at the Zoo I had seen earlier in the day.  I was scared once more.  To illustrate what was happening, my mother let out an unmerciful scream as she was supposedly thrown to the lions,  But in order to give the impression of falling into the lions' pit, she continued to scream as she ran to the furthest end of the studio, so her scream faded as she got further away and turned away from the microphone.

That was just too much for me.  I remember jumping up from the chair, running over to Sir John at the microphone and yelling as I cried "Don't kill my mother, I hate you" and thumping him as I did so!!!!  I was not a popular child at that moment in time!  Those listening on their radios must have wondered what was going on.  The saint concerned was a virtuous, chaste, virgin-like woman who now suddenly had a son that was never mentioned anywhere before, who was yelling after her - as my goodly mother reminded me many times in the years that followed.  

Is it worth even mentioning that my mother never brought me to the studio again for the rest of the run of that series?  As a further punishment I had to go to bed at 7.00pm for two weeks instead of 8.00pm.  My grandmother, when she returned from London where she had listened to the show merely said that she thought it "incredibly touching" that I could be so worried about my mother.  I don't think Radio Eireann viewed it in the same light.

That whole incident came back to me so vividly just this evening when I switched on one of the National Geographic channels on the TV and it was relating an incident somewhere in India where last year a tiger had eaten a person from a village as they apparently do from time to time.  It is strange when things are brought back to you like that.

Those times back then were both fun and interesting - except for hearing one's mother being thrown to the lions!  People have often said I had a weird and unconventional childhood and upbringing, but in actual fact - I would not want to have any of it changed.